


An Arrangement

by Neffectual



Series: 104 Reasons to Stay Alive [20]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Female Hange Zoë, Jealousy, Love, M/M, Open Relationships, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 12:20:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2228823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neffectual/pseuds/Neffectual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Levi and Erwin have isn't exclusive, and sometimes it bothers Erwin how much he wishes it was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Arrangement

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies if this is stilted and terrible, I haven't slept more than three hours a night in the last three nights, and I wrote it in very strange, out of order chunks.
> 
> Written to [this fantastic mix](http://8tracks.com/redcigar/drowning-1) on 8tracks, which created the perfect mood.

They have an arrangement.

When this first began, Levi was flighty, and Erwin was too wary of losing him to pin him down to something as strong as a relationship, or even something as nebulous as a regular fuck, but then, Levi was young, then. Erwin was, himself, not much older, but he had developed a few dalliances within his own cadet group, and was not about to tell Levi that he could not do the same thing. He wondered if he was going to be able to keep Levi, even then, wondered if Levi would grow bored of him as he grew older, as he took command positions, worried that Levi was only using him for his status and protection. The early days, it was fight or fuck, all the time, with little difference between the two. Now, Levi lets him be tender, kisses him sweetly and with fervour; they kiss like lovers, sleep wound together like lovers, and yet, Levi eschews any sense that they might be together as something much more than a casual understanding. It is out of this that the arrangement is made, that Levi can have whomever he pleases, do whatever he wants, so long as he comes back to Erwin in the end. When Levi crawls into bed and kisses his cheek before burrowing in close like a tiny kitten seeking warmth, Erwin gets to close his eyes in relief that their agreement still stands. He’ll wrap an arm around Levi, and finally sleep, hoping he is the only person who gets to see Levi like this.

They have an arrangement.

Levi walks through to breakfast reeking of sex, and Erwin can see red-purple marks livid on his neck, and a tiny, smug grin on his face as he sits down, obviously still feeling it. Mike arrives minutes later, as if he’s subtle, and Erwin just looks at them both, smile, and shakes his head. He can do this, he can sit and eat terrible porridge next to his lover and his lover’s lover, knowing that Levi will still be leaking Mike’s come, because for all he finds dirt repulsive, he likes to be reminded of what he’s been doing. Who he’s been doing. It’s not always sex, although that seems to be something Levi enjoys with Mike, but more often it is slick, hot kisses in corridors and where the trainees can’t see him, bruises blossoming on Levi’s throat as if spreading from the inside out, or Levi on his knees for someone, relishing in his chance at something new, the power and control he has in those moments. He keeps his hands off the younger ones, as they hold little interest for him; much better to have those ranked above him or at the same level begging for him, craving his touch. Erwin never knows if it’s the power Levi likes, or the contact, but he suspects it’s a little of both. He eats his breakfast mechanically, smile staying put like he was taught to for important meetings, then gets up and leaves without a word, hoping no one can see that his hands are clenched so tightly that his knuckles are whitening.

They have an arrangement.

Erwin finds it hardest to cope with Levi’s interest in women, something which has never captured him, and where he feels truly threatened. The other men he can stand, knowing that, at least, is simply another version of what Erwin himself can offer, but it is when Petra or Hanji perch themselves on Levi’s lap in a private meeting, the way he nuzzles into their breasts like he can imagine nothing better. Erwin cannot be that for Levi, cannot be soft and diminutive, cannot smile that secret smile which all women seem to know. Petra is gentle and quiet, full of love and hope; she mirrors Levi’s cynical heart with her own steadfast belief that he is wrong. She never seems touched by the deaths she has witnessed, or the number of times she has almost died herself, always tranquil and ready to raise a smile. Hanji, on the other hand, is energy and light, bouncing from idea to idea, with Levi keeping her grounded with his touch. Her bubbly personality and excitement seem to rub off on Levi’s unsmiling face, giving him a curve of a wicked grin as he perches on the arm of her chair and lets her put a hand on his thigh. Erwin has none of Hanji’s easy camaraderie with Levi, none of the optimism of Petra, and is more likely to be depressed after a mission than elated that he survived. Both of them offer Levi something which Erwin cannot give, cannot even echo, whether that is narrow shoulders and a slender frame, or soft breasts and a welcoming body. It hurts to see him so happy with them, but Erwin does not dare say anything.

They have an arrangement.

He walks onto the training grounds in the early morning light to see Levi on his knees for Eren Jaeger, and the sight hits him like a blow, like a wound, and he wonders whether he could ever have Levi all to himself, whether he could confess that it is what he wants without losing Levi to his crowd of more understanding partners. He doesn’t stay to watch, can’t bring himself to, although Levi catches his eye for a moment. As strange as it is, he’s never been invited to join Levi and another partner before, and he didn’t think it would make him feel quite as sick as this does, now, watching Levi look at him with his head bobbing, hair moving against the hand Eren has in it. He thought there was an agreement that Levi kept away from the younger ones, but looking at them now, Erwin can see the appeal for them both – Eren gets his hero, and Levi gets what Erwin used to be, all passion and fervour, untouched by the harshness of reality. Erwin has no way to compete with Eren, has no longer got his youth, his vitality, his ability to see hope in every desperate battle. He no longer even sees a way to keep Levi by his side.

They have an arrangement.

Erwin isn’t sure if it will ever be just them, if Levi will ever want to give up the hungry kisses he’s caught at with Petra, the marks Mike covers him in, the feel of Erd’s cock at the back of his throat, but he does know one thing. Whatever else if happening, it’s his bed Levi comes back to, his sheets Levi crawls between, his chest Levi rests his head on. He has that, at least, has Levi wrapped around him every night, has him in the early mornings, drowsy and complacent, letting Erwin pet his hair. If that is all he can have, then he’ll take it, gladly, he’ll stand Levi smelling of others, of the scents of the perfume Hanji wears mingling with Eren’s pine scent, because he loves Levi, desperately, hopelessly, brokenly. Some days he wants to snatch Levi away from the others, to drag him away and keep him as just his own, but he knows that’s not fair, even when it is what he so desperately wants.

After all, they have an arrangement.

**Author's Note:**

> I am in no way suggesting that open relationships and polyamory can't work - I've been in four poly relationships and they all worked for me at the time (although not for all my partners, generally) - but that with poor communication of feelings, they can become difficult and strained. And that it isn't necessarily what everyone wants or needs.


End file.
